I know my white friends do not mean to hurt my feelings, put me down, or put other Asians down, but here are some things my white friends and even white strangers say often that I am slowly coming to realize are racist or stereotypical:
- Assume that because I am Asian, I automatically have good grades. I work hard for the grades I have, and this reduces my hard work into something I am just given.
- Men (of all races) like to assume that Asian girls are submissive and will not react to harassment in public. When I was 14, a white man exposed himself to me. When I was 16, a group of Iraqi men called me a “sexy Asian” on the street. It was the first time I ever responded to public harassment; I was so angry. When I was 17, an East Asian man pushed me against a glass partition on the train. His face was so close to mine, I had to press my cheek against the partition.
- On that note, I have never let a man holler, expose himself, or invade my personal space without calling them out again.
- As a child of Filipino immigrants, my European immigrant friends try to compare their family experiences to mine. It is not the same. White immigrants have privileges that POC immigrants don’t. My parents’ education and previous work experience does not translate well in the West. My family is composed of professionals and laborers, but they all started in the same place when they immigrated. My parents are the hardest working people I know.
- White people love to appropriate our customs and try to say they’re part of my family or race. Please don’t fucking say “I’m more Asian than you!” if you happen to like something Asian that I don’t care for. Please stop thinking everything is about you.
- Sharing “Funny Asian translation fails” or “Crazy Asian porn fetishes/inventions/other cultural thing.” This is just racism in the form of sitting on your white throne and laughing at all of those crazy, uncivilized Asians with their tentacle porn and “Engrish.”
- Calling me “maganda” (pretty) or some other shit in my language when you’re trying to sell me something in the mall or flirt with me. I’m not impressed by you knowing like two words of my language. I’m also not impressed that some of the first words you probably learned from my language were swear words you asked your Filipino friend to teach you in fourth grade.
- No, my mom wasn’t a nanny. And even if she was a nanny, that wouldn’t have devalued the worth of her work.
And this list isn’t even all of the ridiculous things I’ve heard from people about Asians.
mainstream tumblr feminism may have many glaring faults but it has bred an army of teenage girls who understand the common ways that misogyny is reinforced in society and who know that they’re better off loving their fellow woman than fighting with her and that’s actually pretty damn revolutionary
You don’t have only one soul-mate.
If you did,
you would have married your best friend
three years ago.
She knows you
better than her right hand,
and she’ll listen to you cry
from eight states away.
You don’t have only one soul-mate,
because people wake up different parts of you—
parts you never even knew existed.
The boy when you were 15
taught you what it felt like
to get caught kissing in a closet
at the party you never should have been at
in the first place,
without his lips ever touching yours.
When you were 18,
a boy let you know what it’s like
to have your heart lodged in your throat,
because he’s moving 2,000 miles away,
And he won’t tell you when he’ll be back.
You wait until you’re 22
to get attached again,
and this time you feel it in every inch.
It’s as if you got struck by lightning—
the Lichtenberg figure crawls
up your arms and across your back,
like his hands on your skin
while you laid in bed together,
and you thought the thump of your heart
was in time with his.
You don’t have only one soul-mate;
Instead, you have soul-mates,
because your heart is huge
and you have the room.